The Night Before ...5

Photo Credit: Google, Can Stock Photo

Toke had reached the office that morning with the hopes of talking to her line manager to get some days off in order to sort out her family issues. She needed to prepare herself for the long talk ahead, so she had bought some airtime for her mobile line via Interswitch since the mobile app for her bank account was acting erratic.  She had a good rapport with Mrs. Aderemi and she didn’t suppose it would be a problem since she had never asked for such in all her years of working with the company. Mrs. Aderemi gave her the time off, asking that she filled the form to apply for a casual leave, so that she could sign off on the form for Toke to scan and send to HR for the approval. The older lady however told Toke not to worry, that she would get the form across to HR after signing off on it. Toke felt pure gratitude for the considerate woman under whom she worked. Considering how other women envy and backstab one another especially when you are considered a high-flyer, her line manager was heaven sent to Toke. Mrs. Aderemi had never been intimidated by Toke’s performance, if anything she felt proud managing Toke.

“I don’t want to talk to her,” Toke heard Juwon saying to Aunty Janet in the background.

“But it’s your Mom on the phone, you have always wanted to talk to her, so why don’t you speak with her now? She’s waiting at the other end, Juwon.”

“I said I don’t want to speak with her. She is not my Mom and she has made that clear several times.”

Toke felt her heart break as she heard him struggle with his words amidst what sounded like being close to tears.

“Aunty Janet, please put it on speaker if he doesn’t want to come to the phone,” she said her own voice now shaky.

“Ok, you are on, Toke,”

“Thank you ma. OlaoluwayoriJuwonlo, my love. You have every right to be angry with me, I have not treated you right. I have not been there for you like you wanted and I am so so sorry about that. I want you to know that I never forgot any of your birthdays. I always looked forward to Aunty Janet’s posts of you on her Facebook wall just to catch a glimpse of how taller and stronger you look, or just anything different from previous photos. I know you wore a blue baseball outfit on your last birthday, while you took a picture with your team holding your birthday cake. I saw pictures from your award ceremony and I couldn’t help noticing the longing look on your face. I know you wished I was there but I wasn’t. I know you have wished for a lot as regards me that didn’t come to pass. That is why I want to make it up to you. For the past 14 years of your existence, I have never forgotten what it felt like to have you in my womb, kicking and moving around. I know you hoped to come out into a world of love but I didn’t give you that. I am sorry Juwon. Forgive me for wanting to start something I neglected long ago. Forgive me for not being there when you needed me. Forgive me for telling you that I don’t want you to be a part of my new life when you are explicitly a part of my life. I have few regrets Juwon, and one of them, a really strong one, is having you far away from me. Please forgive me Juwon. I love you, I always have and will always do. I got carried away by the bitterness I felt for what your father did to me and I mistakenly transferred it to you. I am not asking you to forgive me right away, but please give it a long consideration. I love you Juwon, I …..”

“I forgive you Mom.”

She heard the voice clearly as though he was standing beside her, then she realized he had probably picked up the phone.

“Did you hear me Mom?”

“Yes my love! Yes I did!” she gushed as large tears dropped from her eyes. “But… you… how can you just forgive me like that? I’ve just come begging you… have you put into consideration all I have…”

“Mom?” Juwon cut in again: “I met Jesus. Big Mom here led me to Christ and we have never ceased to pray for you that you will forgive dad, move on with your life and accept me back as your son. Today, my faith is renewed more that truly there are miracles when we believe. I believed you would come back to us Mom, and when Uncle Ade reached out to us, I knew God was working something out. Don’t worry about anything Mom, God will sort out the rest since he has started this.”

Toke looked at the phone again, her boy had taken up faith and had forgiven her when she didn’t deserve it. This was just too much to take in all at once.

“Mom, are you there?”

“Yes, Juwon; I am just short of words to say. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for not giving up on me. Oh…”

“Awww Mom, you should thank Big Mom more. She has done a very wonderful job raising me to be a fine gentleman. But I have to run now, I have baseball practice. I’m so happy we got to talk a lot today. Erm……does this mean I’d get to hear from you more?”

Despite the emotions rushing through her, Toke chuckled at the uncertainty in his voice. “Yes my love, that’s what it means.”

“Yipee, God answers prayers, Big Mom… Talk to you later Mom, gotta run. Byeeeee.”

“Bye for now Juwon, you can give the phone back to Aunty Janet, erm, Big Mom.”

“Ok.”

“Toke…”

“Aunty Mi,” another set of fresh tears flowed freely from her face.

“It’s alright Toke. Let’s be grateful God arrested your son early enough, you will be proud to know what God is using him to do in his school fellowship. Who knows if all of these happened for a time like these? If Juwon had been with you, perhaps you both may have been frustrated and that would not turn out nicely.”

“You are right, Aunty mi. I am so grateful to God. Juwon has made me see the need to move closer to God. If He can answer Juwon’s prayers then he can answer mine too.”

“He sure can.”

“I will keep in touch ma”

“We will be expecting to hear from you again. Take care of yourself and my regards to your husband.”

After the long call, Toke stared into space for a long time. Juwon reminded her of when she was much younger, how she had burned for the Lord. What happened to all that passion, thirst and drive? They left her the day Yele raped her. She was mad at God for allowing that happen to her and she stopped connecting with Him. Now, she felt ashamed to even mutter a prayer of thanks. She looked around her surroundings, she had chosen a private area in a quiet restaurant along her route home to make the call. She didn’t want to do it at home for the fear of Ade walking in on her. Now that she got the call out of the way, she felt a pressing need to do one more thing. She put the money for the services on the table and called the waiter to confirm. She picked her bag and headed for her car.

Time to go settle the other pressing issue.