Beginning Again 2 (Aunty Janet's Story)

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When we were planning for our wedding, he requested that we have a small quiet ceremony but I wouldn't have any of it. We eventually had it my way but I could tell he wasn't too pleased with it, but he put up a front. The first two years of our marriage passed with a lot of peace and quiet. Phil could be in the house, his head stuck in a book and not leave there till midnight. He wouldn't allow us entertain visitors except close family members. We had a hot quarrel one weekend when some of my friends came over to visit and Phil won't come down from the room to say hello to them, in his words 'why can't they stay in their house? That was the end of friends’ visiting. I became officially inducted to the life of a complete introvert.

Despite the fact that we both went to work early, Phil would come back before me and pick up a fight whenever I got home later than he anticipated. He wanted to know if I branched elsewhere, if this and if that. Oh! It was so tiring, so I made up my mind to get home as early as I could without waiting for the usual after-office hours tete-a-tete. Everyone called me Ruth in the office, but two of my close colleagues knew the true state of things at home.

As the third year progressed towards the first quarter, things got really worse. Emotionally, I was frustrated. Physically, I was drained of being the only one seeing faults in our marriage and wanted things to be better. The physical assault at this point wasn't so much but I struggled with the need to break away from this life until I found out I was pregnant. I had mixed feelings about the baby, a part of me hoped this would make Phil relax on his uptightness a bit and be nicer. To be candid and sincere, Phil was there for me throughout the early stage, he must have read about it in one of his books, because Phil knew quite a lot about other things that were not peculiar to his field of study. The day I went into labor, he was working late night at the office or so I thought. After trying to reach him for a couple of minutes, I called my neighbors. If they were surprised that I called them, they didn't show it.



Several times, I'd talked to Phil that we should visit our neighbors who were a couple like us but had 3 kids. Each time I broached the topic, he'd just take a good look at me and go back to whatever he was doing, either TV or reading his books. One day, they decided to pay us a visit and that was the last time they came. Throughout their visit, as much as I tried to make the atmosphere lively, Phil would douse my energy with stone cold silence. After they left, I confronted him on why he couldn't even pretend to be happy they came visiting and he reminded me that we were fine as we were and we didn't need any more intrusion in our lives. We ended up arguing back and forth that night and I'm sure our neighbor heard us because they never tried to reach out to us again, except from a distance, only when our paths crossed.

My neighbors were kind enough to let go of our differences and followed my description to my hospital, which thankfully was about 20 minutes away from the house. All through the ride, I kept calling his phone, he didnt pick, so I called his friend, Bade who said he would try to get through to him. I called my parents too and my younger sister, then finally I called his Mom.

Oh, did I mention that about two years into our marriage, I complained to his mum about Phil's behavior, hoping she would help me talk to him? Well, she gave me a very classic response...