The next day, I didn’t pick Thomas’ calls and I guess he
started getting worried, he sent me text messages but I didn’t respond, I
wanted to get my acts together before seeing or talking to him. About 3 days
later, we agreed to meet again and I voiced out my discomfort at the kiss we
shared. He apologized and told me it would not happen again, so things went
back to normal, but it didn’t take long before I realized my affection for him
was growing by the day and I couldn’t control it. If I didn’t hear from Thomas
in a day, then the day wasn’t perfect for me. So during one of my confessions
with our parish priest, I opened up to him and told him all there was to know.
It affected me so bad, that during mass, my mind just keeps screaming
Hypocrite, so I sought refuge from our parish priest during my confessions. He
recommended me for a counselling session and I started attending.
When my
husband raised high brows about the sessions I was going for, my Priest was
able to stand in for me to allay his fears. I was exposed to a lot of things
during my counselling sessions where I cried and asked God for forgiveness, I
promised him I would never do it again. I made up my mind to call it quits with
Thomas explaining why our friendship couldn’t go on again, after all he was a
Christian too he should understand. To my surprise, Thomas agreed totally with
me and said he had been thinking about it too, especially since he just
married, he thinks it is unfair to his wife that he is closer to me than to
her. I asked for God’s grace and just took each day as it comes, one step at a
time.
Well, I have learnt so much within the last 6months of
meeting Thomas and I have come to caution myself about being quick to judge
women that indulge in affairs. Maybe they were not able to curb their excesses
the way I was able to quickly curb mine but I would never open my mouth to
abuse them again. Most times, after marriage your spouse starts changing but a
lot of us were not taught to adapt in marriage. We just freak out and look for the next person that looks like it to comfort us, but it doesn’t work that way. I figured I had to go through that stage of life to learn and give encouragement to others going through same.
Don’t give up on your spouse, keep praying for them, God hears. I can’t categorically say things are the way I want in my marriage but I have learnt that achieving results takes a process, so I am not pushing him. Now that I have been through this, I have the wisdom to tackle others, because the simple truth is that no one really wants to leave their marriage and their spouse especially after forsaking all others to be with him/her.
Some people have even decided to remain single all in the hope of choosing the right one so that they don’t have extramarital affairs, well, it just doesn’t work that way. There will always be someone that will warm their way into your heart if you allow it and let down your defenses, regardless of how awesome your partner is. So take each day as it comes and never say ‘it can’t happen to me’, you just might be next to fall. That is why I am glad each time some friend walks up to me with this kind of challenge, I am quick to thank God I went through it so I can be an encouragement to others. As for Thomas, I pray for him too to survive distractions and resolve to stay focus too.
That's it folks, live and learn
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