Beginning Again 3 (Aunty Janet's Story)

Photo Credit: Google

"Find any means to adapt to him, he is your husband, whatever he wants is final", she told me. As she made attempts to say more, I politely excused myself as I already knew where the discussion was heading to and I didn't want to give action to the war that was raging in my mind. Why must it be the woman that has to adapt to everything? Why do some mother-in-laws back up their son like he is a saint and the wife is a sinner that must be cleansed by the action of the saint? What kind of society do we even live in that a woman is not allowed to speak up to her husband when he does things that are not favorable to her? I took a long work to clear my head that evening but there were a thousand and one questions running through my mind as I walked. We lived in an estate close to the GRA, so I figured by the time I walked to the GRA and back, I would feel much better. Little did I know what laid in wait for me at home.

"Where are you coming from?" was the first question I heard when I closed the door. I looked back to see Phil standing by the adjoining door linking the sitting room and the dining room.
"I took a walk"
"Since when is it that you live this house without informing me?"
"I am sorry, it was a spur of the moment decision"
"And didn't we agree every decision, however minute should be run through me first?"
"But it was just walk, I didn't think I had to also run that with you now, besides I wanted to clear my head"
"Clear your head from what exactly? Has the house suddenly become to choky for you or is it me that you find repulsive?"
"I didn't say that Phil. I had a discussion with mama and after that I felt the need to leave the house"
"A discussion with mama to warn her boy, right?" He moved towards me, anger visible on his face. Phil had a short temper and though he had never raised his hands on me once, I had the premonition it could happen someday, I just never knew it would be soon.
"Can't you talk?" He roared
"I just felt she could get you to understand how I feel, since I've spoken to you several times without results"
"Are you saying I'm unrepentant?"
"I didn't".. the next thing was a slap on my face. I was stunned, so much that I landed on the rug. 

Beginning Again 2 (Aunty Janet's Story)

Photo Credit: Google 

When we were planning for our wedding, he requested that we have a small quiet ceremony but I wouldn't have any of it. We eventually had it my way but I could tell he wasn't too pleased with it, but he put up a front. The first two years of our marriage passed with a lot of peace and quiet. Phil could be in the house, his head stuck in a book and not leave there till midnight. He wouldn't allow us entertain visitors except close family members. We had a hot quarrel one weekend when some of my friends came over to visit and Phil won't come down from the room to say hello to them, in his words 'why can't they stay in their house? That was the end of friends’ visiting. I became officially inducted to the life of a complete introvert.

Despite the fact that we both went to work early, Phil would come back before me and pick up a fight whenever I got home later than he anticipated. He wanted to know if I branched elsewhere, if this and if that. Oh! It was so tiring, so I made up my mind to get home as early as I could without waiting for the usual after-office hours tete-a-tete. Everyone called me Ruth in the office, but two of my close colleagues knew the true state of things at home.

As the third year progressed towards the first quarter, things got really worse. Emotionally, I was frustrated. Physically, I was drained of being the only one seeing faults in our marriage and wanted things to be better. The physical assault at this point wasn't so much but I struggled with the need to break away from this life until I found out I was pregnant. I had mixed feelings about the baby, a part of me hoped this would make Phil relax on his uptightness a bit and be nicer. To be candid and sincere, Phil was there for me throughout the early stage, he must have read about it in one of his books, because Phil knew quite a lot about other things that were not peculiar to his field of study. The day I went into labor, he was working late night at the office or so I thought. After trying to reach him for a couple of minutes, I called my neighbors. If they were surprised that I called them, they didn't show it.

Beginning Again 1 (Aunty Janet's Story)

Photo Credit: Wakawakaphotographer

Phil and I have been married for close to 2 decades; God blessed us with 2 kids.... Girls. They were such a joy to our marriage but sadly the only thing I lived for all through. When I met Phil, he was the quiet and reserved type and I was an extrovert. I loved to live life to the fullest, but of course, who wouldn't?  knowing you may not have tomorrow. I had lots of friends that we did crazy stuff together but I allowed just few close to my heart because I knew where to draw the line, besides I was reserving space for that one special somebody and I didn't want the space too  overcrowded before he showed up.

One of the things I loved the most was travelling to different places, especially on road trips within the country. I just love the smell of nature, sightseeing and acquiring historic knowledge about different places. Oh! I am also an helpless romantic. I had always hoped to meet my Prince charming on one of these trips and that was exactly what happened, though I wish I had taken more caution before concluding.

It was on one of my road trips to the North to see the Yankari Games Reserve that I met Phil. We were riding in the same Bus, what drew my attention to him was his quietness, he was reading for the major part of the journey, unlike other passengers that were chatting away idly. I read books too, well majorly M&B, James Hadley Chase and the likes, but I couldnt stay too long without being distracted, so his unwavering attention despite the noise around got me more interested in him. We got talking about the book he was reading and he even gave me tips on how to keep my focus when reading. At the end of the journey, we exchanged contacts.