Do you really have the mind it takes to be married?

Sometimes I wish there are ways you can totally express how you feel inside to your spouse, but like a wise mentor recently said ‘If you express everything on your inside, your marriage may not last long’ and I kind of truly agree with him. It’s sad that most people especially females have retreated into their self because they’ve been given the tag NAG, just because they decided to express themselves.

Some elderly good people once said as a wife, you live for your children not for your spouse and if you take a good look around, you will notice that’s gradually becoming the trend. Some women have seen their friends go from happy to laid back in their marriages and have decided that they would rather be single moms, others try to share what they are going through in their marriages, but when they hear from others, they just keep mum.

The rate of divorce cases and single parenthood are daily on the increase even in the body of Christ. It is sadder, that Christians do not realize that we are in the last days and the enemy is trying everything possible to tear God’s institutions apart.

Marriage is divinely ordained by God because it is a miniature of the larger picture of Jesus Christ and his bride (the Church, Believers), if we don’t get it right now, how can we look forward to the one that is to come. Spouses, this is the time to ensure that you are not slacking in your duty posts. Trials will come, but it is part of our Faith test to see if you will stand strong at the end.
I was discussing with a friend recently on the many temptations we face as a married person (and trust me I get them a lot, well who doesn’t?) and we came to these conclusions:

 • If you base your actions on retaliating to your spouse’s actions, you may get burnt fingers especially as a woman. I know sometimes it is not fair that our spouse think that as the male folk they have the right to keep many female friends but you can’t have any because you are NOW married, but we can teach them by example. Fighting for equal rights in marriage isn’t wise and is not God’s plan. We are to submit to and honor our husbands, with the hope that they will learn from us and love us back the way we want and have been instructed to.

 • Children shouldn’t be your basis for suffering in marriage, it is not a bad thing to get help and share what you are going through with someone you are confident can help you.

• We are all humans; don’t follow the pattern of another person’s marriage verbatim. It is okay to covet virtues but don’t rely totally so that you don’t get shocked when you start hearing certain news about them later. The only sure standard for our marriage is the Word of God, anything else is after.

 • Marrying your friend or in fact your best friend while growing up doesn’t mean you won’t have challenges in marriage, worst of, sexual challenges. The way out is to prayerfully talk about it, the truth is God is not an abstract friend, he is the ever present help in times of trouble and we can always talk to him confidently and boldly as long as you have committed your life to him.

• Finally, do not follow the world’s system. We are in the world but not of the world because as children of God we have a better covenant and understanding to build our homes as a model to the world.

Marriage is not a place for the feeble minded because you will get hurt a lot and you have to learn to deal with each day as it comes.

Whew! Having said all this, I need to document these points seriously in my spirit, because words are easier said than done. Please help me GOD!