It was
just one Saturday morning, I was going about my official duties at work. I had
just finished attending to a customer and was filing away a complaint on his
behalf when this elderly man walked up to me. He wanted to pay for his postpaid
line, he also wanted to roam his line because he was travelling for Hajj, he
was filling his request form when he abruptly looked up and stared at me, then
he asked with a smile, 'How long have you been married?, I answered '3years
sir'..., he
smiled again 'any kids? I answered 'just one sir' by now he got me wondering
where the conversation was heading. Then he said to me 'Whatever you do, make
your husband your best friend, don't hide anything from him no matter how bad,
friends will come and go but only your true love will stand by you'.
By this
time I had lots of questions running through my mind. Did he notice anything to
warrant the comment or he was just giving an elderly advice. Any ways, I
figured God used him to remind me again not just for the present but more
importantly for the vast future we have ahead and also to search my mind if
there was anything I was hiding from my husband. This is not an easy question
to answer because there are some things one doesn't consider relevant but may
be to your spouse, so I decided to share my thoughts on this issue.
First, no
one else can understand you better than your spouse. Your family will be with
you for just some number of years, but you and your spouse will be together
till eternity.
Second, whatever the issue is, it is better your spouse hears it
from you than from a third party. Nothing hurts like knowing your spouse shares
relevant or important information with someone else before you, except it has
to do with settling of quarrels between you both, even at that except in very
serious cases, a third party should not interfere in your marital issues.
Third point, no one can
know your spouse the way you do considering the number of years you have spent
or will spend together, who else to confide in than someone whom you can be
naked without shame. If your spouse doesn't confide in you, you should ask yourself
some serious questions. Have you at any point betrayed the trust they had in
you? Some people are good at digging up past information to hurt people just to
get back at them but why would one want to do that in a marr...iage? Yet it
happens. For others, it could be in the heat of an argument, or disagreement
over a particular issue, or a slip during conversation with other friends.
Whichever it is, you must remember importantly that your spouse will still get
hurt and when you hurt your spouse, you hurt yourself. Last point we should have at the back of our minds is that familiarity breeds contempt and that's the truth. I mentioned it before and will do again, don't get too familiar with your spouse such that you begin to take things for granted. The same way you look and admire another person and probably even go the extra mile to 'pay a courteous compliment' is the way someone else would admire your spouse, who by the way is trying to get a compliment from you but because you are too familiar with the way he/she looks, you just take it as business as usual. Marriages these days do not thrive on business as usual, do something unusual to keep the fire burning.
The energy you use in noticing other people, kindly use just half of it in noticing things about your spouse and see how much that 2mins compliment goes a long way to transform things. Best friends do things together, they never keep secrets from each other, they compliment and complement, they have the same focus and there is a solid bond of Love between them. Take time to scrutinize your relationship with your spouse today and make amends where necessary so we don't have broken hearts lying all around..... BF Forever
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