A VERY CLOSE SHAVE 2.....

The next day, I didn’t pick Thomas’ calls and I guess he started getting worried, he sent me text messages but I didn’t respond, I wanted to get my acts together before seeing or talking to him. About 3 days later, we agreed to meet again and I voiced out my discomfort at the kiss we shared. He apologized and told me it would not happen again, so things went back to normal, but it didn’t take long before I realized my affection for him was growing by the day and I couldn’t control it. If I didn’t hear from Thomas in a day, then the day wasn’t perfect for me. So during one of my confessions with our parish priest, I opened up to him and told him all there was to know. It affected me so bad, that during mass, my mind just keeps screaming Hypocrite, so I sought refuge from our parish priest during my confessions. He recommended me for a counselling session and I started attending.

A VERY CLOSE SHAVE....

He has stopped calling and chatting me up, I should be happy after all this is what we both wanted, though we have tried this cutting of communication once and it didn’t work, I can’t help feeling this time it will work. Okay, I guess a part of me didn’t really want US to end but hey this is back to reality, I’ve got kids and a husband to look after.
 
I never ever thought my relationship with Thomas will go this far, in fact with my strict upbringing, I never imagined I wou

ld indulge in any extramarital affair no matter how drop dead handsome the guy is, but I have come to realize that the reasons a lot of married people engage in extramarital affairs has more to do with the ‘space’ the other person fills in their lives than their looks. We get so carried away by what our spouse does not do for us and warm up to the other person giving us attention in that area of need and that was how my relationship with Thomas started.

I wish all the marriage seminars and classes I attended prepared me for this new phase of my life and how to handle it, but I had to take each day as it comes, fighting a lot of emotional battles between what should be and what not and so much. I met Thomas at a friend’s birthday party I attended with my husband, I just noticed something special about him and somehow fate brought us together and we started talking, he met my husband and we kept in touch after that and became good friends. At that time he wasn’t married, so we were not so close. As a Christian, I was careful to keep him at arm’s length as I didn’t want any male attraction that would deviate me from my well brought up knowledge of how my marriage should run. He got married along the line and I relaxed my defenses a bit thinking since he is married, we could have an easy, free flowing friendship without any intentions coming in.
 
However, our closeness started after a chat one day when I asked him to ask me any question. He asked what I thought about him and I, not being one to spoil a good mood, went on telling him how nicely mannered and cautious I thought he was. He is not a bad looking guy and I told him that too. He then asked if I have ever done anything naughty before and I was quick to warn him not to be deceived with my demure look, we got talking about all sort of married stuffs and we got carried away. One thing I learnt in this is that being married does not mean I am immune to the opposite sex’s charms especially when there is an area of common interest. Where was my husband in all of this? Well, he was having his fair share of female attention too and he was getting closer to my kids than to me.

Let's talk about SEX!

Back to sex in marriage, try not to get over familiar with your partner's body, if not you'd see sex as boring and monotonous. Be creative with ideas and know what turns your spouse on. Wifeys, please discard that 1900s nightgown your mum bought for you as a wedding gift and surprise your spouse with some eye popping night wear. Let him always have something to look forward to when coming home. Dudes, please nah, stop wearing the boxers you've been wearing for almost three days now,it's a complete turn off, the smell of freshness gives the head a tingling sensation, even if she wasn't in the mood before, that alone can set the tone. If you got a package that's shabbily wrapped and one that was beautifully wrapped, which would you choose? 

SHARE....LOVE....TRUST

Having spoken to variety of married people, one thing I have come to realize is that a lot of us are trying to get ourselves occupied with other things outside marriage. Majority of married women now live a routine life, especially those that have been married for a while. Wake up, prepare for work, hustle through the day, get home prepare dinner, and then we are just too tired to SHARE a decent conversation of how the day went with our spouse. I must admit that recently, the toll of couples trying to beat this system is on the increase but those being weighed down by it too are also increasing. I am sure those trying can say that it hasn't been easy; because of this a lot of US are just living through our marriages.

Can you honestly say that at least once in a month you and your partner take time out for heart to heart talks? Bothering issues at work even issues that subtly threaten your marriage? Some of us have forgotten to LOVE, we just live for the next day.