Beginning Again 6 (Aunty Janet’s Story)

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I made a mental note to go for a check up on my way home from work, so I was eager to close. What if I was truly pregnant? I started checking my period tracker app to see when I recorded my last period. Period! Hmnn, my menstrual cycle is another story. As irregular as the weather and I had come to accept it as part of my cross to bear. When I was in Junior Secondary School, the cycle was one thing every one of us looked forward to. Those of us who started late had reasons to be envious of those who started earlier than us because they were considered “ladies’ while we were still “girls”. I was among the last set to start experiencing my puberty changes. Though, it was to my advantage because I couldn’t be bothered, so I didn’t think too much about it until it eventually came. After it did, I didn’t notice any problem until I was at home waiting to gain admission into the university. Sometimes it would not come for a month and at most two months, which was not a source of concern to me until my mum noticed.

“You mean you didn’t see your period last month, this month and you didn’t complain about it to me or your dad”, she queried

“I didn’t think it was anything at all, besides it is not the first time this is happening” I responded with head deep in my book.

“This girl will not kill me, let me get dressed so we can go and see a doctor”

“Mum, I’m not going to see anyone. I’m sure I am fine”

“Ok, if you will not go to the hospital, then let’s go and see the herb seller so that you can explain to her. Choose one”

I tried to convince my mum that I was fine but we ended up at the herb sellers place anyway. After concocting some leaves and tree barks, she gave me directions for usage which she warned me clearly to adhere to. I tried my best but I just couldn’t get the awful substance down my throat without holding my nose. After two months of going back and forth, I gave up.

Beginning Again 5 (Aunty Janet's Story)

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“She’s been having a series of nightmares in for about a week plus”

I laughed out loud and relieved “You mean you came all the way to tell me about Toke’s nightmares? I thought something was terribly wrong with her”

“I wouldn’t have bothered you if the nightmares had nothing to do with you”, that got me.

“What does the nightmare have to do with me?”

“She screams you name each time she wakes up, and when I ask her what’s wrong, she just starts shaking and crying, so I decided to check up on you and now meeting you in tears with a bruise on your face…..Sis, what is going on? I am getting worried”

I heaved a sigh of surrender “It’s Phil. He slapped me yesterday because I reported him to his mum”

“Whaaat? How can Uncle Phil do that to you? Don’t you have a right as his wife to talk to his mum?”

“Hmmn, he wasn’t offended I talked to his mum, but reporting him is what I think got him mad”

“Still….he shouldn’t have raised his hands at you. What kind of a man is he?”

“Maggie please, don’t talk like that about Phil. He may not be the best of men, but he is trying”

“Trying? In what way exactly? By raising his hands at you? He should just wait till mummy hears this”

“Maggie, you will do no such thing” but she had picked her bag and was leaving

“If you tell mummy, that will be the last thing about my marriage I will ever tell you again. I am glad you are getting married too, you will come to realize that it is not everything

Our parents should know about”

“But Sis, I don’t…..”

“No buts Maggie, No buts at all”

Beginning Again 4 (Aunty Janet's Story)

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“Madam, you dey house?” He knocked at the door mildly “She suppose dey house, because I never see her comot today, she no even follow Oga go work” He knocked again. Foggy from sleep, I tried to stand up but my head was swimming. As I moved towards the door, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and stopped to hold it in a bit.

“Maaaaaaadam oooooo” my maiguard’s voice pierced into my reverie. Irritated at the disturbance, I moved with force towards the door for two reasons. One because I wanted to give him a piece of my mind for the disturbance, then I was curious to know who he was talking with. As I opened the door, the sweet face of my younger sister Margaret calmed me down. Seeing her I burst into tears and forgot my annoyance at the gateman, she stepped in quickly as she always does, held me close while she discharged the gateman.

“Sis, are you okay? What’s going on, I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday evening but your phone was not reachable”, she was searching my face and I knew she would notice the slight bruise in no time. Although the bruise from Phil’s slap had gone down, it still stings anytime the memories came back.

“I am fine”, I tried to muster some courage

“If you are fine, then explain the tears and…the bruise”

I moved further into the sitting room, trying to gather my scattered items back into my bag, while looking for my Kleenex.

“Sis, talk to me. Did something happen yesterday? Why are you not at work by the way, I stopped by at your workplace and I was told, you didn’t come in. Knowing my workaholic sister, that felt very strange. Then I come to your house and……:

“Why were you trying to reach me again?” I cut her off mid-way. I’d turn to see her confused face, I’m sure a lot of things were going through her mind. She sighed and took a seat.

“It’s Toke” hearing her daughter’s name made me forget all I was going through. When it comes to my sister and her baby, my love for them is very fierce.

Margaret had Toke just before she finished her final year papers. It was a tough one for her handling the pregnancy and reading for exams but I made sure I was there for her all through. Well as my only sister, what do you expect? Her boyfriend then, now husband had run away from the responsibility at first but when Omotoke was born, he was broken by the purity and innocence of the little one. Since then, he never left and officially asked for her hand in marriage as well as our parent’s blessings. My folks had not taken the news of Maggie's pregnancy well at first. Being the second girl and third born of a family of six, she was expected to have followed the footsteps of her elder sister (that’s me) and keep herself till her wedding night, typical of old folks back then.

Beginning Again 3 (Aunty Janet's Story)

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"Find any means to adapt to him, he is your husband, whatever he wants is final", she told me. As she made attempts to say more, I politely excused myself as I already knew where the discussion was heading to and I didn't want to give action to the war that was raging in my mind. Why must it be the woman that has to adapt to everything? Why do some mother-in-laws back up their son like he is a saint and the wife is a sinner that must be cleansed by the action of the saint? What kind of society do we even live in that a woman is not allowed to speak up to her husband when he does things that are not favorable to her? I took a long work to clear my head that evening but there were a thousand and one questions running through my mind as I walked. We lived in an estate close to the GRA, so I figured by the time I walked to the GRA and back, I would feel much better. Little did I know what laid in wait for me at home.

"Where are you coming from?" was the first question I heard when I closed the door. I looked back to see Phil standing by the adjoining door linking the sitting room and the dining room.
"I took a walk"
"Since when is it that you live this house without informing me?"
"I am sorry, it was a spur of the moment decision"
"And didn't we agree every decision, however minute should be run through me first?"
"But it was just walk, I didn't think I had to also run that with you now, besides I wanted to clear my head"
"Clear your head from what exactly? Has the house suddenly become to choky for you or is it me that you find repulsive?"
"I didn't say that Phil. I had a discussion with mama and after that I felt the need to leave the house"
"A discussion with mama to warn her boy, right?" He moved towards me, anger visible on his face. Phil had a short temper and though he had never raised his hands on me once, I had the premonition it could happen someday, I just never knew it would be soon.
"Can't you talk?" He roared
"I just felt she could get you to understand how I feel, since I've spoken to you several times without results"
"Are you saying I'm unrepentant?"
"I didn't".. the next thing was a slap on my face. I was stunned, so much that I landed on the rug. 

Beginning Again 2 (Aunty Janet's Story)

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When we were planning for our wedding, he requested that we have a small quiet ceremony but I wouldn't have any of it. We eventually had it my way but I could tell he wasn't too pleased with it, but he put up a front. The first two years of our marriage passed with a lot of peace and quiet. Phil could be in the house, his head stuck in a book and not leave there till midnight. He wouldn't allow us entertain visitors except close family members. We had a hot quarrel one weekend when some of my friends came over to visit and Phil won't come down from the room to say hello to them, in his words 'why can't they stay in their house? That was the end of friends’ visiting. I became officially inducted to the life of a complete introvert.

Despite the fact that we both went to work early, Phil would come back before me and pick up a fight whenever I got home later than he anticipated. He wanted to know if I branched elsewhere, if this and if that. Oh! It was so tiring, so I made up my mind to get home as early as I could without waiting for the usual after-office hours tete-a-tete. Everyone called me Ruth in the office, but two of my close colleagues knew the true state of things at home.

As the third year progressed towards the first quarter, things got really worse. Emotionally, I was frustrated. Physically, I was drained of being the only one seeing faults in our marriage and wanted things to be better. The physical assault at this point wasn't so much but I struggled with the need to break away from this life until I found out I was pregnant. I had mixed feelings about the baby, a part of me hoped this would make Phil relax on his uptightness a bit and be nicer. To be candid and sincere, Phil was there for me throughout the early stage, he must have read about it in one of his books, because Phil knew quite a lot about other things that were not peculiar to his field of study. The day I went into labor, he was working late night at the office or so I thought. After trying to reach him for a couple of minutes, I called my neighbors. If they were surprised that I called them, they didn't show it.

Beginning Again 1 (Aunty Janet's Story)

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Phil and I have been married for close to 2 decades; God blessed us with 2 kids.... Girls. They were such a joy to our marriage but sadly the only thing I lived for all through. When I met Phil, he was the quiet and reserved type and I was an extrovert. I loved to live life to the fullest, but of course, who wouldn't?  knowing you may not have tomorrow. I had lots of friends that we did crazy stuff together but I allowed just few close to my heart because I knew where to draw the line, besides I was reserving space for that one special somebody and I didn't want the space too  overcrowded before he showed up.

One of the things I loved the most was travelling to different places, especially on road trips within the country. I just love the smell of nature, sightseeing and acquiring historic knowledge about different places. Oh! I am also an helpless romantic. I had always hoped to meet my Prince charming on one of these trips and that was exactly what happened, though I wish I had taken more caution before concluding.

It was on one of my road trips to the North to see the Yankari Games Reserve that I met Phil. We were riding in the same Bus, what drew my attention to him was his quietness, he was reading for the major part of the journey, unlike other passengers that were chatting away idly. I read books too, well majorly M&B, James Hadley Chase and the likes, but I couldnt stay too long without being distracted, so his unwavering attention despite the noise around got me more interested in him. We got talking about the book he was reading and he even gave me tips on how to keep my focus when reading. At the end of the journey, we exchanged contacts.

The Night Before....6 (Concluding Episode)

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Toke opened her eyes on the couch as she came back to the present. Indeed so much can happen in a night. Back to why she came home in the first place. She went to her library and brought out a dusty book from one of the lower drawers. She found a clean rag to dust it and removed the covers to reveal a bible. She went back to the couch and stared at the bible long and hard. It has been ages since she opened it to read. Not certain how to pick up after a long while, she decided to say a prayer first.

“Dear Lord, it has been ages but I know it has not been long with you, for a thousand years is like a day before you. Please teach me to love you again, teach me to forgive and be forgiven, teach me to believe and trust in you again the way Juwon does. Above all, accept me back to you in Jesus name. Amen.”

She felt instantly refreshed and opened her bible, she was blown away with the first verse her eyes read:

“For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life;

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

Toke was awed at the accuracy of the scriptures. She got more comfortable and continued reading. She was so engrossed she didn’t see Ade come in. He stood at the door wondering what was going on with her. He couldn’t place his finger on it but she seemed calmer than last night and there was a certain glow to her that he could not place. Looking closer he saw she was engrossed in a bible. Toke reading a bible? Wonders! Did she think all of that would change his mind? Shioor! He walked in to shower and change cloths. While changing, he remembered the conversation with his dad at the office when he asked if he had spoken to Toke. He had filled his dad in on details of the night before and had expected his dad to disagree with his conclusion on how he wanted to pay Toke back in her own coin, but his dad had reacted differently.

Calmly the man had told his son: “You are a grown man, we can’t choose or make your decisions for you but we will be praying for you as we have always done.”

His dad response earlier today had puzzled him a bit, then getting home to meet Toke reading the bible was even more unnerving. As he wore his joggers to go out for an evening jog, he received a message on his phone from a foreign number:

“She called today and spoke with Juwon for a long time.

Thank you for allowing God use you to start this process.

I hope you get the joy you deserve.”

-Jane

SIX MONTHS LATER

“Babe, we will be late for antenatal clinic today. Remember Juwon’s flight arrives by 7pm, we still need to get some things and be on ground before the plane touches down.”

Ade looked at the wall clock at the sitting room. He had taken time off today to take Toke to the clinic, since the doctor called to say he would like to see both of them after the last antenatal session. That coupled with the fact that he was going to meet his step-son for the first time. He didn’t want anything to spoil his careful planning for today, not even Toke’s pregnancy beauty routine. She was determined to make an impression on her son but he had told her she was beautiful enough the way she was.

“Coming, Honey; just this last touch.” She looked at her reflection in the mirror.

Who says she doesn’t have anything to be grateful for? Since that fateful night, things had taken a new turn for her for the better. Especially since she found solace again in God’s word. Ade had jilted his plan with the other lady. Toke couldn’t specifically say what happened, but like Juwon would say, it was a miracle. She heard the other lady too hadn’t been comfortable with the arrangements and they had mutually agreed to call off their affair and go their separate ways. Ade forgave her, and she and Juwon led him to Christ. Since then they had been attending a faith and word based church just a little distance from the house. Then two months after, she found out she was pregnant. Indeed she would count her blessings and name them one by one.

“Omotoke oooooo…”

“I’m out, Honey.”

As she walked into the sitting room, Ade took another look at her and smiled. Her bump was noticeable now and he took pure delight seeing her transform just to accommodate their baby growing inside her. He couldn’t thank God enough.

“Shall we, my lady?”

“Yes, we may.”

At the airport, it was a grand reunion amidst tears, hugs, kisses, pats and prayers as Toke and Ade met Juwon and Aunty Janet. As they made for the car park, Toke felt a pair of eyes on her. As she looked around, she didn’t see anyone she knew but she had a feeling she was being watched.

“Are you ok darling?” Ade asked, he had been noticing her looking around.

“I’m fine, just that I have this feeling like someone is staring hard at me.”

“Come on baby, there are hundreds of people here, besides you look hot with the growing bump so I bet that is enough attraction of its own.”

He drew her closer and as they moved towards Juwon, who was busy taking in the scenery, she heard it:

“Toksy?”

The Night Before ...5

Photo Credit: Google, Can Stock Photo

Toke had reached the office that morning with the hopes of talking to her line manager to get some days off in order to sort out her family issues. She needed to prepare herself for the long talk ahead, so she had bought some airtime for her mobile line via Interswitch since the mobile app for her bank account was acting erratic.  She had a good rapport with Mrs. Aderemi and she didn’t suppose it would be a problem since she had never asked for such in all her years of working with the company. Mrs. Aderemi gave her the time off, asking that she filled the form to apply for a casual leave, so that she could sign off on the form for Toke to scan and send to HR for the approval. The older lady however told Toke not to worry, that she would get the form across to HR after signing off on it. Toke felt pure gratitude for the considerate woman under whom she worked. Considering how other women envy and backstab one another especially when you are considered a high-flyer, her line manager was heaven sent to Toke. Mrs. Aderemi had never been intimidated by Toke’s performance, if anything she felt proud managing Toke.

“I don’t want to talk to her,” Toke heard Juwon saying to Aunty Janet in the background.

“But it’s your Mom on the phone, you have always wanted to talk to her, so why don’t you speak with her now? She’s waiting at the other end, Juwon.”

“I said I don’t want to speak with her. She is not my Mom and she has made that clear several times.”

Toke felt her heart break as she heard him struggle with his words amidst what sounded like being close to tears.

“Aunty Janet, please put it on speaker if he doesn’t want to come to the phone,” she said her own voice now shaky.

“Ok, you are on, Toke,”

“Thank you ma. OlaoluwayoriJuwonlo, my love. You have every right to be angry with me, I have not treated you right. I have not been there for you like you wanted and I am so so sorry about that. I want you to know that I never forgot any of your birthdays. I always looked forward to Aunty Janet’s posts of you on her Facebook wall just to catch a glimpse of how taller and stronger you look, or just anything different from previous photos. I know you wore a blue baseball outfit on your last birthday, while you took a picture with your team holding your birthday cake. I saw pictures from your award ceremony and I couldn’t help noticing the longing look on your face. I know you wished I was there but I wasn’t. I know you have wished for a lot as regards me that didn’t come to pass. That is why I want to make it up to you. For the past 14 years of your existence, I have never forgotten what it felt like to have you in my womb, kicking and moving around. I know you hoped to come out into a world of love but I didn’t give you that. I am sorry Juwon. Forgive me for wanting to start something I neglected long ago. Forgive me for not being there when you needed me. Forgive me for telling you that I don’t want you to be a part of my new life when you are explicitly a part of my life. I have few regrets Juwon, and one of them, a really strong one, is having you far away from me. Please forgive me Juwon. I love you, I always have and will always do. I got carried away by the bitterness I felt for what your father did to me and I mistakenly transferred it to you. I am not asking you to forgive me right away, but please give it a long consideration. I love you Juwon, I …..”

The Night Before.... 4

Ade felt Toke’s hands on his trousers, he looked down at her to see tears flowing freely down her face. She looked like she had lost something or someone.
“Ademi, please forgive me. You know I won’t intentionally hide something like that from you if I knew it was of significant importance…”
“You call having a child and not telling me insignificant? Are you so mean that you hate the one you have? By the way, when was the last time you spoke to him or your Aunty?”
“Six years ago when my aunty called to say Juwon was asking to know his mum, and I told both of them never to regard me as his mum again because I have started a new life and I don’t want him in it.” She cringed now even as the words left her. Am I really this wicked? she thought to herself and almost missed Ade’s next words.
“Well, I told Nina to put pressure on you to open up to me but since you adamantly refused to say anything, I decided I was going to pay you back in your own coin.”
She looked momentarily confused. “What, how do you mean, Ademi?”
He glared back at her, and it slowly came to her.

“Whaaaaaaaaat? You have a child too?! How? When? Where?”
Ade looked at her scornfully, “Oh so you know how it feels to have a child hidden somewhere without the other partner knowing, right? Anyway, as I was saying, I had Nina promise me that she won’t tell you I know since you didn’t want her to let me know too. But I had gotten in touch with your Aunty and Juwon.”
She waited a while as she processed that. Then: “Nooooo, that can’t be possible, how did you get their contact?”
“I got it from your diary. I checked your phone but didn’t see it, so I thought to check your diary since you also had some contacts penned down on it. I tried a couple of numbers you labelled Aunty, before I eventually got the right one. She was quite surprised to hear from me, especially since you didn’t tell her about our wedding, and I explained the whole situation to her. She opened up after series of conversations with her and corroborated Nina’s story. I never knew I could shed tears till I spoke with Juwon. Why do you hate that innocent boy so much? He is intelligent, smart and witty, just like you. Do you know he has been leading his class and he got an award for excellence with a scholarship to take him through high school? How can a mother forget her own son and turn her back on him, especially when he needs her the most? So I sought some counsel and I came to the conclusion that I was also going to attempt to impregnate another woman until I decide what to do with you.”
“Haaaaaaaaaa, Ademi! Please pinch me and tell me I’m not dreaming? Don’t do this to me Ademi. Ok, Ok, I promise, I will accept Juwon back, I will love him again as my son that he is, I will do my duties as a mother, I will…”

The Night Before... 3

Photo Credit: Google

Nina, do you need me to repeat the question? ”
“I heard you loud and clear Ade. I’m just trying to be careful with my next words. Does Toke know you know?"
“I assume that means that the news I heard is true. ” Ade felt a sharp pain pierce through him as his heart started beating fast.
“It was a very unfortunate incident because Toke was naïve at the time and Yele took full advantage of her. OMOYELE AGORO, hmnnn! We all went to the same JAMB Tutorial Centre back then in Ibadan. He was a very rich kid, richer than the average rich kid and he had most ladies eating out of his hands” she smiled as she remembered how Yele used to be the talk of the Centre then, especially when his dad’s driver dropped him off in different flashy cars. 
“Toke never liked Yele because she felt he was using his dad’s privilege to get things easily, but Yele took an interest in her because she was brilliant and didn’t seem swayed by his show of wealth. One day, we were given an assignment and nobody, not even I could get the answer. We were not bothered because we felt our teacher would work it out when he realized no one had the answer to the question, but Toke won’t settle for that. She went out of her way to meet another sister of ours in the area who was in the university at the time by name Beatrice and she helped us out. So when the teacher asked who did the assignment and no one else did but Toke and I, Yele was very impressed and tried to get to know us better, especially Toke because she called his bluff when he initially tried to talk to us. Long story cut short, Yele pestered Toke until she eventually gave in and thus began their friendship which blossomed into a relationship”

All the while Nina had been talking, Ade had been trying to put her words into pictures in his head. He could imagine his Omotoke calling Yele’s bluff because the scenario looked similar to how they met. He had also met her at a friend’s baby dedication. He was attracted to her immediately he saw her helping out with the serving, his friend’s wife was her colleague at her former workplace. He smiled as he remembered how he had tried to get her attention but she had given him a cold shoulder all through the party. He later found out that he had not been the only one trying to get her attention at the party, and she was at her wit’s end as at the time he came to her also, hence the cold shoulder treatment. He got back from his reverie to hear Nina say;
“…and that’s when she got pregnant”
“Repeat that please Nina”

The Night Before.....2

"Toke, are you listening to me? He looked at her, wondering why she was frowning. She looked like she had seen a ghost, was it the news or was it something else? 
“Yeeeesss” she stuttered, “I’m all ears” even though she was sure she couldn’t hear any other thing except SECRET and 2 years!
He cleared his throat as he brought her back to the reality of their situation. “It started after our 6th wedding anniversary and Joe (his bosom friend) told me he stumbled on some facts about you. One of his friends had organized a bachelor party and he went there with another friend. In the course of the merriment and drinks, his friend introduced him to another friend Yele, who came to town trying to locate his former girlfriend”

Toke paused at the sound of the name “Yele” why did that sound so vaguely familiar?
Ade continued “Intrigued by Yele’s search for a long lost lover, Joe moved close to Yele in the bid to mockingly ask him questions about this lover he came to town for and then he mentioned her name and even showed Joe her picture. According to Joe, he felt like someone had knocked the life out of him when he saw the picture of the lady in question. He asked Yele why he sought this particular lady when he could have any other lady in the world and Yele told him that they had a child together. He also narrated how he had maltreated her when she was pregnant for him but now he regrets his decision and wants her and the child back”
At this point, Toke had started sweating, the room suddenly seemed too small.
“After the party, Joe called me and said we needed to talk, I wondered what the hurry to talk was about till we eventually met and he told me the story. I couldn’t understand why the story was important to me until he told me the identity of the lady, at first I didn’t believe him but he had wittingly snapped the picture Yele had on his phone to further convince me” 

The Night Before..... 1

Toke entered her house tired, as she dragged herself to the couch, she made a mental note to change the air purifier as a stale smell drifted to her nose. Dropping her bag on the plush rug, she reclined into the couch and closed her eyes for some minutes, who would have thought that she would feel elated this morning after all that happened the night before...Hmnn, the night before she sighed as the memories came back to her fresh.

At 9pm, she sat to listen to the evening news as she waited for Ade, her husband to come back from work. She had taken her time at the shower after returning from the office, because she had some things running through her mind. Ade had called her earlier at the office, to tell her that there was something urgent and important the needed to discuss once he came home. He had refused to go into details but promised her he would be home early. As the water flowed down her body from the shower, so many thoughts ran through her mind. What was so important that he wanted to discuss? Did he get a promotion at work? Well, he would have just said it and they would make plans to hang out for the night to celebrate...no! it couldn't be that, then what? Ok, maybe it was a health issue, he had gone for a check up during the week, maybe the result was out and there was some bad news from it. Maybe he had a.....No,no, no! Toke waved the thoughts away and ignored her racing heart. "I'll just wait till he comes, I can't come and kill myself before my time" she said as she stepped out of the shower in her bath robe, moving towards the quiet room to pick something comfortable to wear before she headed to the kitchen.

WHEN GOD SEEMS FAR....

My heart goes out to couples who need comfort in their marriage…either the HE or the SHE

My heart goes out to couples praying for peace in their marriage

My heart goes out to couples who lack unspeakable joy in their marriage

My heart goes out to couples who can’t find courage to move on, past their mistakes

My heart goes out to couples finding forgiveness with their spouse that is not forthcoming, guilt-stricken

My heart goes out to you because only God can truly help you

My heart goes out to you because I can relate with how you feel, having heard and seen so much

Everything may seem to have failed, but one can never fail….GOD

Wait on the Lord, Be of good courage and HE will strengthen your heart.

His WORDS bring comfort…”Comfort, comfort my people, speak comfort to Jerusalem (put your name), and proclaim to her that her warfare is ended” Isaiah 40:1

His WORDS bring peace…”Now the Lord of peace himself, give you peace always by all means. The Lord be with you all” 2 Thessalonians 3:16

His WORDS bring joy…” And He brought forth his people with joy, and his chosen with gladness” Psalms 105:43

His WORDS bring courage…”Be strong, take courage, don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second though because God, YOUR God, is striding ahead of you. He is right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you” Deuteronomy 31:6

His WORDS bring healing and forgiveness…”But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and with his stripes we are healed” Isaiah 53:5

He is indeed our HELP….God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble…Psalm 46:1

HOLD ON, HELP IS ON THE WAY!

#COPIED#

I needed to use the scissors this morning & as I finished with it. I looked at it carefully & I see that, the scissors models an ideal couple.

Let's see some lessons every couple should learn from the scissors so that we can become better couples & build enviable homes.

LESSON 1. The scissors is always in pairs & that's where its usefulness is. Once you see one part & the other part is not there, it is useless no matter how beautiful it is. The effectiveness of every marriage is lost when couples are not together. Separation & divorce destroy the effectiveness & usefulness of every marriage.  Remember, 'united we stand, divided we fall'.  Separation is not only when you separate physically & you are no longer living together. There are many couples who are together under the same roof but are spiritually, emotionally, sexually, financially, socially, etc separated.
Are you sure you & your spouse are not separated in one of these ways?

LESSON 2: The togetherness of scissors is not automatic. There is a small bolt or pin that fixed the scissors together in the middle. In the same vein, if couples must be bounded together like this scissors, there must be 'bolts' that must fixed & wed them together that will make them inseparable. Some of the 'bolts' are

Pre-Wedding Shots: The New Cool for Couples!

For years, pre-wedding shots have been viewed in different perspectives. Through generations, it has gained acceptance; thus giving it more shape, creativity and fun! While I have seen some royal pre-wedding shots and I must say despite the status of the people involved, the pictures lacked creativity. They were just too rigid and predictable.

However in recent times, a lot has changed. I can’t remember couples married 6-10 years ago going out of their way for pre-wedding shots. Even if it was done, it was done in a studio. Fast forward to 3 years back...couples have shown so much tenacity for the interesting set of shots. It’s amazing to see the creativity couples put into their pre-wedding shots. What I love more.....Colour, Set, Props and Excitement.

 

I’ve taken time to glean from Otunbade’s Photography and I’m sure you will enjoy the different shots I’ve selected. I believe the theme of each shot is a reflection of the couple. However, I must say I really can’t wait to see what creativity would filter into this industry in the years to come..

Straight Outta COZA Marriages

I’ve heard quite a number of couples talk about how their marriage counseling class was a monotonous and boring one. A lot of them have had to learn a number of things themselves which should be all encompassing in the marriage class. Now, I’m not ruling out the place of self-discovery and responsibility, especially where marriage is concerned, but in the age where most individuals see institutions as a place of authority, it is important for these institutions, especially religious, to be aware of the necessary topics to be discussed in a marriage counseling class for would be couples.

 

I am so happy a lot of churches have now fully aware of this necessity and have taken time out to beef up their classes to equip couples to face the 21^st century marital challenges. The Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (COZA) is one of such and I’ll share some of the process flow I'm familiar with.

As a pre-requisite for getting married, the first step is you must register your engagement with the Personnel in charge of the marriage classes, who is also a married person. With this, you have indicated your readiness to be prepared for a lifetime journey.

Step Two: Your engagement must be known to everyone, especially the Senior Pastors, so that there is no case of mistaken identity...lolzzz. If you are a worker, your HOD must be VERY aware about your engagement. With this you are taught to be Accountable

Your Spouse IS your EVERYTHING....not your CHILDREN

Hmnnnn...this is truly deep! 

I am sure someone is like No Way! My children come first, before my spouse.

My spouse can cheat on me but my children will never

My spouse can leave me but my children will never

My spouse isn't so much of my blood as my children are.......the list goes on!

So what does the original manual says about this subject?  

Ephesians 5:22-33The Message (MSG)

^22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
^25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

Love is ALL that matters....It matters after all!

As I sat in the congregation listening with rapt attention to my mentor and MOG, Biodun Fatoyinbo at the Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (COZA) yesterday,talking about the reason for Easter and how that we can never truly love and accept the message of Christ if we do not accept his LOVE, I could hear the song "LOVE is all that matters" filter through the playlist in my heart. (Of course, I had to stop it there, so I don't get distracted from the message)


One point I got from the service bothers on the fact that as Christians, if we haven't first preached God's love, we can't go about threatened people about his judgement which makes them retreat further into their condemned state. Sadly, we still have a lot of unbelieving people in the world because they first heard the message of condemnation, rather than the message of God's love to us. If preaching condemnation first was the case, God wouldn't have sent his son to die for us. It is when we reject that love that condemnation comes, for I know that there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Most times, our concentration during the Easter centers around the mystery of Christ's death, burial and resurrection. Only a few people relate back to the reason for his coming in the first place. John 3:16 brings it home for us and makes us understand that the beginning of Christ's journey on earth was birth from LOVE! GOD being LOVE

It is a lie of the Devil that we are unworthy of God's love, regardless of what we are going through at the moment. I speak as God's mouthpiece, especially to those going through a dark phase of life at the moment ...Are you weary, tired, heartbroken, bruised, dejected, depressed, confused, maltreated, downcast, cheated, duped, relegated, suicidal...... It's time to stop hand yourself over to the one who can bring you back to sanity by a sniff of his love.

You will never know your full capability to love, until you accept love and who better to accept it from than the one who loved us first? Accepting his love, helps us love and forgive ourselves, our spouse, our children, our neighbors and even our enemies. I must confess though that this wouldn't be an easy process, because accepting his love means you have to let go of a WHOLE lot of things, but in the end we would realize that, LOVE is really all that matters! So....Position yourself to receive from HIM today!

Photo Credits: COZA Witty Invention

The Power of the Spoken Word

I got my daughter's result today and she had straight distinctions in all her subjects, which was an improvement from last term. Just as soon as I was happy, a though came to me and I started digressing. Could this result be this good because her teacher favoured her? Is she really that brighter than the other kids in the class? All these and more ran through my mind until I spoke with a bestie of mine.

From our conversation, I realised how ungrateful I am for having a brilliant daughter.
I realised how many mothers have killed their children's intelligence due to false humility... Now that's deep!

I realised whatever I taught her was minimal to what the Holy Spirit could have, afterall I confess that my children are taught ofthe Lord and great is their peace.

In her words to me.... 'So why am I saying this, sometimes our kids are really geniuses, let's never try to downplay it in some false humility mode or because we don't want to appear proud or whatever....... be grateful and keep working at it. Be super grateful!'
And my response? Forgive me Lord for forgetting that I am only a caregiver to your daughter and that you are capable of making your children the best. 
I also remember I lead her in confessions to say "I am a Genius because I'm Jesus' baby"

What I learnt from this? God has said the best things concerning us as his children, those words have no potency until we BELIEVE and SAY them. Most times, we say and don't believe or we believe and we don't say. One can't work without the other, for with the heart man believes and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation...  Couples, it's time to agree what you want your children to be, lay out a confession plan for them as they grow older and never doubt the results that comes with it. 

The question is, would you believe the results when they come? Better get ready to receive what you believe and say, just as I have received my daughter's result! Getting ready to give her some treat, just as I know God has some treats planned out for his children this season.

Happy Easter peeps!

Can anything good come out of ZION?

Well, forgive my little twist in subject, but I've often wondered when we women would realize our true worth and ACT like it.. It's no news that there are a lot of desperate single ladies around everywhere, but the question I keep asking anyone of them I am opportune to meet is...What are you doing while waiting? What value will your husband meet when he finally comes for you that will make him KNOW that you were worth the wait?

I had the privilege of peeping into Feeyi Okupe's notes on this matter and was I blown away? Yes, I still am. I am impressed we still have single ladies who know who they are and are ready to stand by what God says about them without fear! Only those who wait upon God in Zion can understand these things. Popularly known as Faye of Zion, a daughter in the Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (COZA), a Lawyer and a blogger too http://the31degrees.blogspot.com/  
Have a peep into her WORD world....Who says nothing good can come out of Zion?????


Wives & Wives -in-Waiting (A Woman's Worth)
 

I recently watched a video on Instagram, of ladies advertising that they are "Single and they need a Man". I am sure a couple of people saw that video too but I would like to believe they were just joking. If they weren't then that's sad. It is sad because it shows what loneliness and lack of identity can do to a woman. If a woman knew what she was worth, she will not feel that a Man was the solution to her loneliness.

In the bible, a Woman was created for the Man because the Man was alone and not the other way round, (Genesis 2:18), therefore Women need to see themselves as an asset not a sorry case. The bible also says in Proverbs 18:22 that, "He that finds a wife, finds Favour from God" not "She that finds a Man..." This goes to show that women are highly esteemed jewels in the sight of God thus should not belittle themselves.

As a Wife-in-Waiting, when a man asks you out for courtship, the word Yes or No should not proceed out of your mouth 'as fast as the speed of lighting' because that only shows that you are desperate. Rather, you should ask him to give you some time to think/pray about it. Speak to your Pastor/Mentor or Parents about it before you enter into courtship and be sure that you are ready to go the long haul with the man. Get to know him, (the real him, not the "churchy him"), ask the Holy Spirit to guide you because Marriage is not a school you enroll and decide after a tough exam that you want to withdraw. In fact, in the "School of Marriage", you are given your certificate the day you enrol because you are not expected to graduate or withdraw from it. It is a School of Life and for Life.
 
Overall, every Woman should understand that GOD loves her so much and places high importance on her that He made her so complex and beautiful, formed her physical body with detail and finesse and it will be rather ungodly and ungrateful for her to disrespect herself by dressing indecently, talking indecently or acting desperate for a relationship or marriage because the most important relationship a woman should have is a relationship with GOD. 

Know your worth as a woman, carry yourself with dignity & poise and you will definitely attract the right man who knows your worth.
Have a blessed day Ladies, you are beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made