Dear Wives,

Remember how you were anxious about your folks meeting him too? Remember how you knew and did all the latest hairstyles just to retain his attention knowing there’s a tough competition out there? Remember how you took extra care as you dress up each day? How excited you were waking up each morning and looking forward to the next communication with your ‘Bobo’? Remember how reading a text from him brightens up your day and when he hasn’t called you for the whole morning, you start wondering if there’s nothing wrong? Remember how you didn’t mind taking your time to go to the market and cook for him? Take care of his apartment whenever you visit? Tried to know all his area of interests and hobbies? Generally just tried your best to make him happy? So, why the change now?

Have you tried to sit down and analysis how you felt when you were in courtship and now that you are married for years? Does it ever feel the same way? Has the feeling improved greatly or declined? Do you still smile when you receive his text or you just take it as a normal thing? Do you still feel that warm feeling when you speak to him on the phone or you are so used to his voice now that it has no effect on you?

These days we only take care of our hair and dressing when we are leaving the house but what of when you are in the house? Do you cage that beautiful hairdo under that hairnet and wear one of your old worn dresses round the house? Is love making a routine now? Does it excite you like it used to back then? Do you look for ways as a woman to keep it hot for him even when he doesn’t encourage you? Do you treat competition as another way to improve on yourself or you demean yourself to start negatively comparing yourself to others?

CULTURE ALERT!!!!

There a lot of misconceptions about marriage we have been nurtured with as we grew up, especially as Africans. A lot of culture has been doctored in our subconscious about how to conduct ourselves in our marriages. I have nothing against our culture, it has helped us in some ways, but we should understand that GOD instituted marriage not culture, thus only God standards should be upheld in our marriages not what culture dictates to us. This is the sole reason why a lot us come to a point in our marriage where we feel like we need to take a breather and some actually walk out on their marriages, meanwhile if we had chosen our partners according to God’s word not Culture, it will always be easy to go back to God and commit your spouse to him.

· Culture says ‘you are not getting any younger, your mates are all married while some have children, just flow with any man that comes your way that appears like the man of your dreams’ but God says ‘Don’t flow with the tide, I know better and my time is the Best, I will give you the one after my heart’

· Culture says ‘if he/she is not from your tribe or neighboring tribe, don’t get married to them, but God says ‘There’s neither Jew or Greek, everyone is the same before me’

Married and Fulfilling PURPOSE...

Purpose doesn't jump on you, you work it out. Most times when you start, it doesn't look like it but keep going & it will take shape if you are diligent. For singles, this is the perfect timing for you to ensure you are rooted in your purpose before marriage. Whoever wants to marry you will meet you at the door of your assignment, so it will be easy for them to blend with whatever purpose God has placed in your hand.

Your purpose attracts the right person to you because everything and everyone was created for a purpose. Let's take the case of a pencil in the hands of those who knows it value and can make good use of it, that is the same way it is when you are in the place of your purpose. When you however get married, your purpose receives another level of grace because you now carry the merger anointing of two becoming one.

 

There is a blessing that comes with marrying the right person such that if one was chasing one thousand before, the two coming together will be able to chase ten thousand, meaning there is a multiplication anointing that comes with marriage that affects every area of your life. What you should however know is that it is never too late to start walking in purpose.

DEAR MEN......

Thank you for accepting us the way we are, even though you sometimes do not understand how we are wired, you still stick with us. Thank you for always giving us the thrill of a good chase when asking us out. Those beautiful rhymes of poetry you display either verbally or written, rendered to woo us into falling into your arms. Some of us know what you really want, that is why we give you a hard time for your time’s worth. Some of us take pity on you and just express... our minds to you so you don’t waste your time, not like some of you get the message on time. Believe me when I say women are gifted with good instincts, though not all of us are sensitive to it. We can tell when a man is fooling around with us and when he is really serious, we deliberately give ourselves in to the adventure of what the positive outcomes would be.

Thank you for being patient through all our demands after we eventually say YES to you. We have so many conflicting emotions that even we are confused sometimes, and through our mood swings, you try everything possible to make us happy. You spend time with us, take us shopping/buy stuffs for us, and spring up surprises, all just to make us happy. You make us feel super special and important to your world by giving us your total attention.

Can you handle THE TRUTH!

If there's one thing I have promised myself to always keep in mind in my marital life, it's to always tell myself the truth and square up to face it regardless of how bitter it may be. The truth, some say is bitter but I love the part that it also sets free. This tells me, knowledge without manipulation is very powerful. I have been to several weddings this year and have seen how people strive to put quality in the events. Whether they do it to impress others or just to ensure that they have a fun filled day, the most important thing is to know that this is the beginning of something entirely different.

Couples need to realise that being happy in marriage is more than putting happy looking pictures of you and your spouse on social media. I tell those that care to listen, don't ever pray for the kind of marriage your friends have based on what you see and read about them. People never present a bad image of them selves to the public. You don't know what is going on in the privacy of their bedroom.

Work it out, NOW!!!

Was at work when a colleague received a phone call, from the beginning to the end of the conversation, she was giggling and grinning widely. I must confess, I felt a bit jealous of her, wondering what the line of conversation is with her hubby, or so I thought, that could maintain that kind of wonderful look on her face. Immediately, I remembered when my hubby was courting me, he was much of a straight forward, no-beating-around the bush kinda person, and still is, but we used to have long conversations and anyone who saw me on the phone then, would instantly know that the person at the other end of the phone must be someone special.